The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The power to summon cops to arrest you

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the power to talk backwards

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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The power to eat your poop

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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The power to not do it.

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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The power to create a clean and temporary bathroom only you can use when you don't have to use one

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The power to turn into random objects

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to heal yourself once every hundred years.

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The power to look into the car next to me at the exact moment the driver is picking his nose

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to throw a rock at the ground and miss

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the ability to kill yourself... twice

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The power to run at the speed of invisibility.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The ability to not live forever

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!