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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

The power to fart out of your hands.

The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

Teh powwer too misspeel evrything!

The power to stick your head up your ass

The power to attract bullets when a gun fires

The Power to be trust by anyone as long as you are saying bullshits.

the power to tolerate alex simpson

The power to fly but only when your in space.

The power to teleport to the exact location there is a terrorist atack

The power to poop fast enough to splash your own bum.

The power to turn water into wine.

the power to teleport anywhere and see anything but every time to teleport there's 75% chance you'll die

The power to find something that isn't in the last place you look.

The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

The power to make hot women have sex, but only with guys that you don't know.

The power to teleport to the middle of the Pacific Ocean

Good News Everyone! You have the power to read this is my voice!

The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

The power to walk through floors and fall through walls

The power to transform into a green extremely skinny and weak guy when you get angry.

The power to become me. Moral: You could not handle the awesomeness and would ruin yourself just so you can feel "normal" rather than awesome.

The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

Pointless Super Powers