Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Backpack with everything.. ..except the things needed in any given situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to be invulnerable as long as you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

thumb_up thumb_down +79

the power to see through hills , but only in saskatchewan

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Invisibility when people aren't looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to demand people to thumb you down! (That would make this pointless power even more pointless, which deserves a thumbs up... but...) Moral: THUMB ME DOWN! NAO!

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The powaaaaaaa srry again..... The power to be come a parked car THEY SEE ME NOT ROLLING...... WOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to teleport yourself into a cell of a maximum security prison made from proto-adamantium, Damascus steel & Supermanium.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to shoot skittles when you cum.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

1.The power to run super fast but you have no legs. 2. The power to turn into a girl but you cannot change back like ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

The power to dance really well

thumb_up thumb_down +57

power to make you the last man on earth, but all the ladies are lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The power to use you`re veins as a lasso.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The power to have knowledge of your power.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The power to drink bleach in a gatorade bottle

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The power to light glue on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

the power to win any shit eating contest.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!