the power to make things out of thin air that dont work.

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to eat toilet paper and crap self-wiping poop. Think about it...

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The power to pee quietly in public toilets.

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Invisibility when people aren't looking.

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The power to fly only 5mm above the ground.

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The power to be able to insult that piece of shit Chuck Norris without bein... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *dead* And of course the ability to type you`re death scream and you`re status after you`re dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Writing "because moral man loves you" Moral: I am far too antisocial to love everyone, I mean the more love for me the better... so I can give a lot to my girlfriend too... love you baby! (my girlfriend duh) Moral 2: Someday ill tell her that I type this comments, and if you thumb this up, she will find out I declared my love here too... aww... love the man that does not love you... for love! Me: Huh? My head is spinning... and if yours is too, then thumb this comment up.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to switch on clappers by snapping your fingers

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The power to fly to your In-Law's house and ONLY your In-Law's house.

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The ability to teleport anywhere in the world on the first Monday of February at 4:00 am

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to read autistic people's minds

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The power to get an erection watching gay porn

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The power to be toilet paper and never run out of paper but still keep your sense of taste

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the power to delete your own existence from the univers( aka you never existed in the first place and neither did the power )

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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The power to light glue on fire.

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The power to fly, but only when pigs do

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The power to speed up time for only 1 Planck Instant every hour.

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The ability to predict the future .000001 seconds in advance.

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The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

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The power to decrease the number of thumbs up by how long the joke was written.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!