The power of walk on the water if it is frozen.

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to predict the present

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The power to vote for Osama Bin Laden for president. Moral: And to believe it could still be worse...

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the power to smell shit from miles away

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to fly to your In-Law's house and ONLY your In-Law's house.

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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The power to have knowledge of your power.

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The power to change lemonade into lemons.

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The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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the power to produce shampoo out your eyes

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The power to sh*t bricks

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The power to make dad jokes.

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the power to absorb gamma radiation, but no resistance to radiation poisoning.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

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The pointless superpower to make any situation awkward.

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

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Apathy for the world. (Don't stop believing.)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!