The power to grow fingernails.

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The superpower to speak from to anybody's asshole.

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The power to bleed on command

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The ability to dodge bullets, but only after you've been hit by the first bullet.

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the power to grow taller whenever there is a low beam ahead of you.

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To grow your fingernails out and in very quickly.

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The power to turn into Patrick Star permenently and be dumb as him.

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The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

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The power to watch tv

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The ability to sh*t actual bricks.

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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the power to become Gary Busey, but only after the accident

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

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The power of Bulletproof fingernails

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The power to smell poop

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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the power to run windows on a mac computer

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The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

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The power to see everything BUT u have to be blind Or the powaaaaaa.... srry anyway the power to hear every damn thing but u have to def Congrats : u lost one of your senses for nothing at all have fun but I'm not talking to the blind 1 cause u know he can't see Wat I posted@_@

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The ablity to slap a policeman and get away with it.

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The power to fly during 0,2 seconds.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!