The power to get up early for school, only on the weekends

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the power to sneeze cum

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The power to delete the "missing a finger" comment on shitbrix.com.

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The power to teleport anywhere at the cost of your life.

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The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

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power to eat through your but

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The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

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The power to be stupid

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The power to be immune to everything except for bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica

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the power to walk halfway through a wall

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The power to die while dieing

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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the power to be the best at a game but nobody knows you

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The power to open shampoo and conditioner bottles by blinking.

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The power to kill a manin just 30 years a spoon

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The power to fall asleep at will. But it's only active when you're asleep.

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the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

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The power to control all bleach within one-hundred feet.

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The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

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The ability to morph into someone else's left butt cheek

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The power to have a 17% avoidance rate to stepping on lego bricks.

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The power to...lick you're nose

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!