The power to get your blackberry to turn on slightly faster

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The power to slam a revolving door.

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The power to f*ck yourself

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The power to fly for as long the average human is in the air during a vertical jump.

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The power to change your emotions at will

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The ability to fly at will but only if you are zoned out

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the power to hate nature

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Immunity to everything, except diseases that cause death.

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The power to eat multiple things at a time

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The power to nail anyone you want (legally) but no one remembers, including you

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The power to see in the dark while exposed to sunlight.

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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the power to speak chinese to indians and indians only

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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The power to say something only when you have a mouth

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The power to fill trash cans with garbage

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The power to change to a wombat when you have an erection while you're sleeping.

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solar powered night-vision

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The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

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The power to wet yourself at will.

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The power to have night vision during the day.

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the power to move things with your mind in your imagination

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The power to read and agree to the terms of service.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!