the power to quickly re-wrap christmas presents

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The power to burst into flames but not be immune to heat.

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The power to shut the fuck up.

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The power to erase stupid blogs or comments

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The power to see into the present

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to be yourself.

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the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

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The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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The power to see John Cena, but only when he taps out/gives up.

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the power to know you forgot somthing but not know what you forget

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The power to tell the future but no one believes you

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the power to erase pencil liines using your index finger

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to understand the purpose of life, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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the power to have an idea..

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The power to sweat acid.

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The ability to teleport to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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The power to spontaneously break into song only during absolutely tragic moments.

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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the power to keep your fingertips wet at all times, so you can flip pages.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!