the ability to slightly change your facial expression. sometimes.

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the power to see through cereal box to see if there is a prize inside it.

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The ability to transform escalators into stairs.

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The power to change the shape of any object at will

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the distinct ability to tell when a marine plant is mildly displeased with it's cells.

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS

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The power to turn any plasma tv into ice with 3 times the mass

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The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

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The power to teleport anywhere you don't want to go.

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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The power to survive falls frrom great heights, but only if you land on your index finger.

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to drink alot of alcohol and not get drunk

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The power to believe that the only way is essex.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

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The superpower of being the only one without powers in the world where everyone has powers.

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The power to end a sentence the way that people wasn't expecting them to orangoutang.

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The power to stretch your tounge but it can only curve in a way that it only get inside your anus.

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The power to face plant at your own will, but not being able to stop.

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The power to give someone the power to give the power.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!