the power to be as dumb as george bush and as useless as barrak obama

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The ability to watch an episode of 60 minutes in 59 minutes

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The power to realize that your personality is like a shithole.

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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The power to instantly kill yourself

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The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

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The ability to know how someone felt exactly 1 year prior but you don't know why.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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the super power to remove your super power

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The power to have the biggest boner ever in the middle of a presentation.

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The power to die when you do Anything!!!

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The power to breath while under a container of water

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The ability to lactate air.

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the power to sing like justin bieber

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The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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The power to turn pizza into math worksheets. -Big C

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The ability to make up a new part of Pokemon, every time you sneeze.

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The power to get AIDS.

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The power to turn your head 360 degrees

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The ability to change your eye colour at will. basically, you do this with a torch. Everyone can do this.

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the ability to troll the internet but never get a response

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The power of bullet atraction

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The power to have the strength of 50 old people

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!