I have the power to make /b sarcastic, witty and funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

the power to be as dumb as george bush and as useless as barrak obama

thumb_up thumb_down +124

The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to thumb down Moral Man's posts. NOTE: It is required that the user of this ability possess average to above-average intellect. Seriously, bury this dickbag's posts. He's an annoying twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to have wood when you wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

the power two float in the air for three seconds but only when you fell of a cliff - jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to turn your head 360 degrees

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power to break through walls but forget to shout "OH YEAH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +70

the ability to troll the internet but never get a response

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power to make dogs quit sniffing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Power to find things in the last place you look.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power of bullet atraction

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to have the strength of 50 old people

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Ingesting caffeine gives you the power to be a normal, competent human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The ability to type without having to use the shift key.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to kill any one of your direct ancestors back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to put everything off till the last possible day

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to be a leave by putting on leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

power to make acid rain only when your are locked outside your house

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power ti find tiny shards of glass with your bare feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Immunity to medication

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!