The ability to fly but only for 5 seconds and when you are on an oily floor in tube socks being chased by 10 Puerto Rican woman.

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The power to blink slightly less often.

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The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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The power to still have 0.01 percent of germs on your hands.

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The power to turn into paper

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The power to read the minds of hobos. ( now you know what hobos think about you )

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The power to hate someone you don't even know

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to make water turn blue when you touch it.

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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the power to save Chinese people... who needs um?

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The power to get all the superpowers but only in your sleep/dreams.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air, but only while you're in a building

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The power to switch your right and left ears.

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The power to spell backwards.

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The power to make something slightly sticky. Like after you each a juicy piece of fruit. You make everything feel like that.

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The power to levitate a lamp 4 inches off the ground... Once...

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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The power to watch womens basketball

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The power to make your limbs fall off but they do not grow back.

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The power to walk on water, but only if it contains exactly 0.25 ppm of Aluminum.

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The power to tie any type of knot but only when using dental floss

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The power to win the lottery, but only the december 21 of 2012.

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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the power to die on command

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!