the power to make elton john gay

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the power to transform into biggie smalls after he just died

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to turn anything you touch into old.

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The power to be a normal person

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The power to talk to your socks but only when they're dying...

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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The power to be as strong as a bear... but only when fighting another bear.

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the power to not have super powers...

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The power to say something positive about Justin Beiber

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The power to fly at Mach 3 but only if your in the air, but too bad cuz the power comes at a cost which is making you weigh 21 more tons than you used to weigh.

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The power to look at huge breasts and avoid thinking about it.

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The ability to reach the end of the rainbow!

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The power to speak Spanish, but only to people who do not speak Spanish.

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The ability to put your whole foot in your mouth.

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The power to be really bad at math.

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Good News Everyone! You have the power to read this is my voice!

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Being able to temporarily lift 10x what you can typically lift while simultaneously having the power that everything you touch immediately becomes 10x heavier.

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the power to create a meme

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Laser vision but only if you are looking into a mirror

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The power to regret things you did in the past

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The power to make your boyfriend angry at you because you're angry at him, and even angrier when he was already angry at you.

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My power is the strange and rare ability to produce nonsens....Sometime i steal, rip what i like...an newbe loan from others, an artist steal and know how to fuse it as new since all is repetition...Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. So...

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the power to immediately become gay after beginning to feel attracted to a member of the opposite sex & then once you are attracted to a member of the same sex you become straight.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!