The power to emit a password protected wi-fi signal, but only while you sleep.

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The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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To be waterproof but only when your not wet

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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The power to see through windows!

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The ability to unravel a ball of yarn with your mind

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The ability to breath fire through your mouth but only when your mouth is closed.

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the ability to fly under water unless your wet

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The power to eat your own face.. the one time

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The power to speak 360 words/min. in multi-language.

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Spontaneous combustion... when on the internet

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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the power to stop time for everything... including yourself

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The power to make any object the most comfortable object ever, but only when no one is touching it!

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The ability to defy death... only when you commit suicide.

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The power to understand math.

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The power to see as Stevie Wonder

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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The power to spend your life doing things that are totally pointless

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The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)

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The power to eat anything edible 0.25x quicker!!!!

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The power to- Hey, I'm really happy fo' you, but the Power Rangers are the greatest heroes of all time!

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The power to speak to mexicans in german

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The power to fly whenever you get a stroke. (The power goes away as soon as the stroke ends, so make sure to get all your flying deeds done while you still have a stroke)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!