The ability to shrink your penis

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The power to be attracted by bullets

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The ability to turn traffic lights red in your lane and green for everyone else

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The power not to cut yourself when you shave your face, but you're female.

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the power to turn wine into water

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The power to shoot yogurt from your armpits once a month

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The power to be as strong as a bear... but only when fighting another bear.

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The power to stick huge Cactus`s up you`re ass and spit them out as beautiful flowers.

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The power to turn swans into pigeons (but not pigeons into swans)

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the power to bi ugly

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The power to resist the Facebook status forces.

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the power to think 0.0000000000000001 microseconds faster than usual

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the power to allow diet coke to make you fat

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The power to accidentally make pop-up adds appear on the device you are using if you click the X on a website or add!

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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The ability to breath fire through your mouth but only when your mouth is closed.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The ability to wink with both eyes, at the same time

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The power to detach you`re penis and use it as a throwing weapon... to late you discover its not possible to attach it back :(

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beard snap. ...snap your fingers and beards for all !!!

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the ability to fly- but only indoors

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The ability to have every pointless superpower then, now, and in the future.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!