The power to teleport to hell. You cannot teleport anywhere else.

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The ability to breathe naturally while thinking about breathing

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The power to have amazing breath, but only if you brush your teeth first.

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The power to develop a cancerous tumor anywhere in your body at any time you want.

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I have the power to make /b sarcastic, witty and funny.

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The power of being able to rotate in non-rotatable chairs.

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The ability to predict what will appear on ReCaptcha, SOLVEmedia, and all that stuff, before you see it.

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The power to live again but only while your still alive.

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the power to be phone

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The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

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The power to shapeshift into a worm.

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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black people

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The Power To Poop on Command.

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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The ability to lead millions into committing mass genocide, proceeding this by killing yourself.

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The power to fly but only in a room with a ceiling fan

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The power to kill yourself when you are dead.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The power to have explosive diarrhea involuntarily but only on dinners with your date and his/her parents.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!