The power to breathe

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The power to eat anything edible 0.25x quicker!!!!

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The ability to make someone slightly attracted to a faucet.

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The ability to hand in assignments 1 day late

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The useless pewer to increase your useless power at will! Moral: THE POWER TO SPAWN IN THE CENTER OF THE SUN AFTER DEATH INCREASE!

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the power to read the thoughts of inanimate objects.

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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the power to wake up each mourning with a fast food joint mascot next to you saying "You were great last night"

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The power to change the channel with your mind, but only to the Weather Network.

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the power to poo every time someone asks you out

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The power to be impressed by Sham-Wow

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The power to dissasemble yourself, but not re-assemble yourself.

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The ability to get a headache when you do or say something stupid.

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the power to fall asleep in your bed and wake up in a trash compacter

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The power to move infinitely fast up spiral staircases, but the inability to go down them.

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the power of piss mountain dew and shit cheeseburgers

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the ability to fly 6 inches off the groung

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The power to travel forward in time at the speed of normal time.

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ability to fly in a plane

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To be small u could be step on because no one can hear u

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The power to have extremely good eye site, but only when your eyes are closed!

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The power to be able to walk .00000002 times faster whenever you want

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Th pwr t frgt vwls.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!