The ability to charge my iPhone, by starring at it real hard while rubbing my nipples!!!

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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The power to have super strength, but only when your sleeping.

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to have courage to tell hitler that you are jew

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The ability to Hi

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The power to be awake when you're not sleeping.

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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Ultra-strength when peeing

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The power to teleport someone into the nearest restroom after they've touched your thighs.

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The power to levitate only down stairs

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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Thhe ability to cry acid

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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The power to hear everyone masturbating in 1 km radius

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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the power to fly but only on a plane

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The ability to make broken pens work again.

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!