The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The ability to charge my iPhone, by starring at it real hard while rubbing my nipples!!!

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The power to have no powers

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The power to have courage to tell hitler that you are jew

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The ability to make broken pens work again.

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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The power to slash hot c u m on a girls big t I t s

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to be able to do things right, but only when you're not doing them.

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The power to state Goku`s power level without crushing you`re scouter.

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The power to hear what your cat is thinking about.

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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the power to shrink to 1 inch but only in a crowded street and you cant look up girls dresses,

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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The power to levitate only down stairs

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The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

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the power to die when you breath oxygen

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the power to fly but only on a plane

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the power to know what kind of useless power would you prefer.

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The power to live without water but you're trapped at sea

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!