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Clarksonisms
Pointless Inventions
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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.
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+89
The ability to stub your toe on every object near you when walking.
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+89
The ability to have superman's powers and weaknesses, but have an 100% chance to have a suit made of indestructible kryptonite.
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+87
The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.
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+87
The power to eat McDonald's in Wendy's.
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+87
The power to stare at deckchairs without blinking
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+85
The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.
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+85
The power to create a pointless superpower
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+81
The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.
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+77
the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy
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+73
The power of 12% levetation
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+71
Having taste buds in your anus.
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+71
the power to time travel to the present
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+69
The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards
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+57
From this site`s standard... me typing this is a superpower, you reading this is a pointless superpower, and so is the superpower to HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: I still CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Well actually I can but I got hit with the pointless superpower below somewhere... Moral: For moral man it is better with one Moral too many than one moral too much... and if yu disagree YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!
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+57
The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.
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+43
the ability to spin gold into straw
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+41
get my hair more 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 Straighter---Girl!
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+35
The Power to Breath When Ur dead
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+31
The power to see everything 3D without 3D glasses
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+25
The power to type in the wrong capatcha.
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+25
The power to kill you self.
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+23
The power to change your hair's color to white when you're old.
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+21
The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.
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+17
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!