The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The power to not have a superpower

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The power to make a baby stop crying for 1 second

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The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

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The power to rule the world unless it's in real life.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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The power not to dance while you're in a coma.

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The power to kill you self.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The Power to clone yourself instantly, but one of you dies!

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The power to sing as well as Justin Bieber.

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The power to eat peas as a vegetarian

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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the power to be FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!