The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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the power to turn into a tree

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to dehydrate yourself at will.

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the power to make faces at the blind

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The power to turn anything into Oreos.

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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The power to make a white paper green but only with a colored pencil

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to like Justin Bieber

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the power to fly but only during a severe hail storm

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The power to have really sweaty palms.

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

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The power to obey gravity

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!