The power to be alone

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the power to read this sentence

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The power to enlarge your penis to any size, but only you can see it.

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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the power to enter a coma.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to crap without pissing.

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The power to turn any object into food

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The ability to make yourself rich unless you are using it on yourself...

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to see 1 plank length farther then most normal people

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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the power to die on the spot

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The power to kill you self.

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The power to see when your eyes are not closed.

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The power to smell any flower from the 15th century once a year.

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The power to make it inconveniently drizzle when crime is happening

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Shit bricks I love itttttt

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The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!