The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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The power to drink and drive without being caught

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To never remember what the word if means

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the power to be a snail when ever you think a bout snails but you CANT transform back

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to make an apple you're holding taste delicious, but only for other people

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to only see things that are a shade of orange if the date adds up to a divisor of Pi x enough to make it a whole number, if you are wearing a hat and have recently expeled bodily fluid

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT PRESSING THE BUTTON

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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a power to turn liquid into goo!

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The power to block your own powers

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The power to vomit every time you look at a cat.

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THE POWER TO BE INVISIBLE WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING...

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The power to enlarge your penis to any size, but only you can see it.

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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Really bendy thumbs.

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The power to go hibernate at winter.

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The power to compare anything to porn because "you know it when you see it."

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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The power to stare at deckchairs without blinking

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!