The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to not have a superpower

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The ability to give yourself a stroke just using your mind.

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The ability to make yourself rich unless you are using it on yourself...

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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From this site`s standard... me typing this is a superpower, you reading this is a pointless superpower, and so is the superpower to HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: I still CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Well actually I can but I got hit with the pointless superpower below somewhere... Moral: For moral man it is better with one Moral too many than one moral too much... and if yu disagree YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to eat your own head.

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The power to tap dance awesomely, but only when wearing bunny slippers.

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The ability to spit mouthwash

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The power to see everything 3D without 3D glasses

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The power not to dance while you're in a coma.

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the power to die on the spot

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power to breath fire but only through your nose

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT PRESSING THE BUTTON

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The ability to reduce the value of a penny.

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!