The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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The power to only be able to eat poop

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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the power to gain the intelligents of forest gump, but not the table tennis playing ability

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The power to turn into a pebble

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to beat up anyone but only if u sneeze first

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to make anything money related to disappear.

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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power to fly when your underwater

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The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

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the power to see through clear glass.

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the power to catch em' all

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!