- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power to jizz money

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

yo mama

the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

The power to reverse walk backwards.

The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

The power to make dead batteries appear.

the power to get drunk you are needed

The power to be afraid of horses.

The ability to pull open push only doors

The power to lower your own ego.

The ability to get free housing for at least 25 years after running over your neighbor.

The power to be able to vote for Donald Trump

The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

The power to eat McDonald's in Wendy's.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

the power to jump, but only on any surface

The power to be asleep while in bed

The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

Pointless Super Powers