The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to turn into a skittles bag

thumb_up thumb_down +96

teleport to the place where you stand

thumb_up thumb_down +94

the ability to blow yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to think oppositely

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to make dead batteries appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

the power to read this sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to make someone forget you as soon as they laid eyes on you making you lonely forever:)

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to extend your pinky toe

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to have night vision when there's daylight.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

the power to be Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

thumb_up thumb_down +36

To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to see through glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!