The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to fly while masturbating.

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The power to read your own mind

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The power to know if someone in China eats Rice

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THE POWER TO BE INVISIBLE WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING...

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The power to masturbate only when someone is watching.

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The ability to hide your cats right ear at will

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The power to f-ck every girl in the world, read it carefully EVERY girl in the world...

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the power to jizz money

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The power to digest corn.

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

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the power to emit air through your mouth and nose.....

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The power to be afraid of horses.

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The ability to pull open push only doors

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I have the power to force farts out of my ass.

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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The power to lower your own ego.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

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The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!