The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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I'm a giant di

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The power to make spinach taste like brussel sprouts

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The power to not see the troll dude in the Pointless Superpowers logo raping the words 'Pointless Superpowers'

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The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

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the power to hovertate

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The power to negate all powers including your own.

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The ability to eat your self up when out of food.

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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The power... to move you.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The ability to invent a new language that no one else will ever learn.

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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the power to jizz money

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!