Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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to do nothing

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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time travel that ownly have 5 time before loose it

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The ability to hide your cats right ear at will

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to not see the troll dude in the Pointless Superpowers logo raping the words 'Pointless Superpowers'

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The power to see 3-D movies in 2-D.

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power to eat 500000 big macs in a day

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power to have really sweaty palms.

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open up pickles glass

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The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

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Nothing

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!