The ability to jump 3% lower.

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the ability to stay in the same place while running

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the power to be able to call 2 people at once.

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to fly and change shape "It's a bird, it's a plane, it's.... a flying sandwich!?!

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The Ability to talk to girls, but only in your mind.

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The power to STFU!

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To have the abilities to almost be as powerful as God, but you're an existentialist.

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Diamond hard left nipple!

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The power to drink 30 beers and no shall any tear

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the power to cure cancer after having sex with the patient but only if they have aids

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The power to travel back in time to the 1800s but only as a black guy.

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the ability to have a useless ability.

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The ability to park very acurately

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THe ability to see though walls but only when their glass.

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The power to telepathically tell if butter has salt in it or not.

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The power to become like chuck norris. Unfortunately before you get that power you to through the true CHUCK NORRIS!!

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A cat with human-like reflexes.

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The ability to decrease the size of your girlfriends breasts.

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to kill Pedobear.

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The power to lick your own tongue

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The power to piss lemon juice

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The Power the run away when there is a crime

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The ability to speak Yiddish without learning it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!