To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

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To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

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the power to read your own mind

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To fly.. into the zone.."Friend zone"

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to create a unicorn online.

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to swim on land.

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The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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The power to be able to make something usable but have it disappear when you try to use it.

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!