The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

thumb_up thumb_down +41

the power to cook sandwiches when married

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

the power to run in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to become famous on vine

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to read an animal's mind, but only when they're in a vegetative state.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

This can be essential to finish a perfect quality dissertation while scholars are studying at the university. Thus, your superior release related to this post will be a a really good issue for the thesis example creators.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The ability to grow breasts once a year.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power to control disabled people with your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The power to think of food

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to kill you self.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the power not eat more than one pringel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to have no power

thumb_up thumb_down +13

power to turn into an idiot once you get a scholorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The power to not get a boner when seeing a hot girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!