The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Power of Anti-Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down

The power to find gold in your nose but only when you pick it in front of others

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Power To Throw Power Booger In Every 5 Seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Power to make it rain sideways.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Th power to have a 10 minute delayed reaction, so if you stub your toe 10 minutes later you scream like a f***nut

thumb_up thumb_down -42

The Power To Captilize The First Letter Of Each Word Without Thinking About It.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

The power to poop without wiping

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down -78

power to make the most lethal fart know to man but only when you girlfriends is around

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power to pick any lock as long as its open

thumb_up thumb_down +125

The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

thumb_up thumb_down +117

The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!