The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The ability to die on command.

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The power to smell through your arse.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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being black

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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the power to walk on land.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to never be tired, but only when rowing a boat.

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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All of aquaman's powers.

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The power to change your urine to any color

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!