The power think five times slower.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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the power to shape shift to yourself

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to see through walls, but only when you're in a glass room.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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The super power to shine in daylight

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the power to breathe in space but have to be were there is gravity

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The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to control time by pressing your right elbow under your right armpit

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The ability to pass out at will.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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The power to summon garden mushrooms in the top of your head every time you're having a serious talk to anyone

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kabloooeeey!!!

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The power to be oppressed by everything

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The power to become encased in concrete at will.

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to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

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The power to become a laptop forever!

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The power to make lipstick fly

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!