The power to die when you get old

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The ability to die on command.

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the power to read this sentence

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Immunity to curable diseases.

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The ability to eat the red ones last

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!