The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to fart rainbows

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i love to make shit brix

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The power to be french.

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The power to do something while you can play games.

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to fly while masturbating.

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The power to turn your navel upside down

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to survive jumping form a plane as long as you have a parachute.

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The power to smell feces from a mile away.

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The power to blow up, before a bomb next to you blows up.

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The power to turn invisible when crossing the road.

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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the ability to earase your mind but only before a test

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!