the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power to take edible shits.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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the power to walk on land.

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The ability to sweat poop.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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the power to sleep with any woman, unless your a man

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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the power to turn food into shit

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The ability to jump

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

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shit and piss at the same time

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the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!