The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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To have the power to give yourself a disease

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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The power to open any door with no lock on it.

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The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to make lipstick fly

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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75% levitation

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to smell feces from a mile away.

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to be and do whatever you want except living forever, only when you are dead

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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The power to die,but only if your alive!

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The power to shoot projectiles from your eyes to the inside of your head.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!