The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to sit

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to fly when your in an airplane

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The power to have an ability.

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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The power to actually ENJOY Dora the Explorer.

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The power to be really bad at CSGO

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The power to be in any position, and still be comfortable.

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The power to smell whore

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The Power to float on water, except when you're wet..

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The power the ability to read minds but only on February the 30th 1783.

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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the power of the succulent game

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!