The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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to randomly self destruct at any time

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The power to be invisible when no one is looking at you!

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power to become perfect. Perfect: There can be only one moral man.

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power to be a common person

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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The power to think of a good super power right now.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The power to have pointless superpowers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!