the power to get somewere at the same time that you arrive.

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The power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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the power to get sick

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The ability to swim in water.

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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The power to make the opposite of what you want to happen (and you can not think of bad things happening)

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The power to sing Friday by Rebecca Black perfectly when it's thursday.

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The power to take a crap.

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!