The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

The power to achieve orgasm within 3 seconds

The power to live with only one kidney

The power to piss rainbows only in torrential downpours.

the power to be invisible but when you're alone

The power to divide by 0

The power that everytime someone sneezes, a living porpoise erupts from your anus.

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the ability to have sex with a sand spur

the power to eat 3 times the amount of jello that a normal person can

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The ability to have a Prius the literally yells out "IIIIIII"MMMMM GAY"

The power to create the best Internet memes; instant nullified by recognition or compensation.

The power to make hats fall in love.

The ability to be gay for 5 seconds at a time

the ability to live on the edge of a building

the power to stop your addiction to placebos

the ability to think you can fly

The ability to travel through time at a rate of one second per second.

The power of night vision, but only during the day.

the ability to run for president only if you're sarah palin

The power of night vision, but only during the day.

the ability to only fall asleep in showers

the power to create an army of imaginary friends out of real friends.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!