The ability to police irony

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The power to take edible shits.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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The power to have hindsight.

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power to eat your poop

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The power to enter the dreams of people who regularly have night terrors

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The power to change the temperature by 1 degree, once every leap year.

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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The power to speak braille.

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The ability to run faster than the speed of sound, but only when laying down.

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The power to have a %90 chance of dying every single second.

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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the power to move up floors or levels,but only in an elevator

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The ability to teleport to the Taj Mahal whenever you want ONLY the Taj Mahal

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The power to teleport through open doors.

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The power to teleport small dogs

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the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!