The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to convert any font to comic sans at will.

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The power to fly, but only 1 millimeter above the ground, while moving at a speed slower than a snail.

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the power to sit

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Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

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The power to laugh in Japanese.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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The power to look like yourself

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The power to be normal and average

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to know who farted at any time.

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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ability to swim like a frog with no legs

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the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

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the power to give your enemies all the super powers in the world

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The power to love Justin Bieber

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The ability to speak Latin but only when no one can hear you

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!