The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The power to see everything that will happen in your future life when you die.

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The ability to see through other peoples eyes but only when they're closed.

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to close your eyes and drift off to a state of unconsciousness.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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Justin Bieber

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The power to seduce any woman but only if you're gay

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to be invisible but only to blind people.

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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The ability to shoot apples, but they disintegrate in mid-air. Also, the apples are tiny.

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The power to slowly float upward with awesome evil aura whenever you laugh evilly (just like in the movies/anime/etc) Only to realize you are stuck up there until someone gets a crane or something to get you down...

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the power to like Liam Brudenell, That is pointless

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The ability to die at will, but not come back to life.

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!