the ability to glow in the light.

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The power to transform into a baby only when around pedophiles.

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power to change TV channels once a day but only on cooking programs between 9:00AM and 9:30AM

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The power to sound like a 12 year old while playing call of duty

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The power to wave your hands without ever tiring

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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The power to turn into a potato banana hybrid.

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The power to play games in your head but have seizures doing so.

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The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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The power to teleport yourself into a cell of a maximum security prison made from proto-adamantium, Damascus steel & Supermanium.

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the power to eat bread

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the power to get drunk you are needed

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The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power to have a atomic fart

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!